What About Socialization?
Because every homeschooler gets asked a million times, here are a few of my responses to the question, “What about socialization?”
First, I believe that the ability to “socialize” only with 20 other individuals who are exactly your own age is a skill that you’ll never need in real life after you leave the elementary classroom. As an adult, you’re always going to have to interact with coworkers or neighbors of varying ages and maturity levels. Our family time and homeschool co-op activities teach our children to interact confidently with adults and children of all ages. For several years in California, we had a park day where kids from 4 weeks to 14 were playing together, watching out for each other, and having a ton of fun. I watched my three year old walking hand-in-hand with two preteens who willingly brought her along on their hike. I heard an older boy encouraging my son as he learned how to throw and catch a football. When we brought a special needs foster child into our family, a tween boy with similar disabilities showered her with attention and happily pushed her on the swing and around the park in her stroller every single week. The social skills those kids are cultivating will serve them for the rest of their lives.
Secondly, the phrase I probably used the most as a classroom teacher was, “It’s time to learn, not to socialize.” I was constantly telling my middle schoolers to stop talking and pay attention to the lesson. And by 6th grade at our school, they didn’t have recess anymore. Looking back, I guess they were supposed to socialize during lunchtime (instead of eating?). So I actually think that a school setting is a terrible place to socialize with your friends. I have a friend who pulled her son out of public school precisely because he was constantly getting in trouble for being so social! Extracurricular activities like sports, drama club, and church were where I hung out with friends growing up, no matter what form of school I was doing at the time. Over the years, we’ve gotten the kids involved in soccer, tennis, swimming, theater, Irish dance, and ballet, where they interact with other public, private, and home schooled kids of their own age as much as I think is necessary at their young ages. Last fall, my 10 year old got to co-star in the fall musical at the University where we lived, so she spent hours each week rehearsing with and hanging out with some truly lovely college students. Her flexible homeschool schedule made that possible, and I loved watching her grow in confidence and maturity as she spent time with the college kids.
Lastly, because we can get our work done more efficiently than a classroom full of kids, we actually have more time for play dates than kids in a school setting. Homeschoolers are great about setting up weekly park days when public schooled kids are still in school. We frequently plan field trips with fellow homeschoolers, and since we finish homework during the day, we have more flexibility in the evenings, as well.
In closing, my parents believed that they needed to evaluate every year what schooling situation would be best for each kid. My brothers and I all experienced home, private, and public school over the course of our pre-college career, and we were all very successful in college and are well-adjusted adults. My husband was initially skeptical of the whole homeschooling thing (being a product of 13 years of Catholic schools), and we’ve agreed to take it a year at a time for our kids, as well. But after nearly a decade, I have no regrets or worries that my kids lack the social skills of their public schooled peers.
